In our rapidly evolving relationship with artificial intelligence, even the smallest social niceties have become the subject of debate.
Should we say “please” and “thank you” to our AI assistants? Is it a waste of computational resources, or an important reflection of our humanity? Let’s explore both sides of this intriguing dichotomy.
The Human Element: Why Manners Might Matter
When I interact with AI assistants like Claude, ChatGPT, or Gemini, I often catch myself adding pleasantries out of habit. And I’m not alone. Many users instinctively treat these systems with the same courtesy they’d extend to humans.
Why do we do this? There are several compelling reasons:
Social habit reinforcement — Using polite language with AI helps maintain our social skills and prevents us from developing abrupt communication patterns that might spill over into human interactions.
Values reflection — How we treat entities that can’t be “hurt” may still reveal something meaningful about our character and values.
Future-proofing our ethics — As AI becomes increasingly sophisticated, establishing respectful patterns of interaction now may help us navigate more complex ethical questions later.
As media theorist Douglas Rushkoff suggests, “We become like the tools we use.” Perhaps maintaining politeness with our digital tools helps preserve something essential about how we relate to each other.
The Computational Cost: Do Extra Words Matter?
From a purely technical perspective, every word in a prompt consumes resources:
Each token (roughly 4 characters in English) requires processing power
Longer prompts mean more energy consumption
At scale, those pleasantries add up in terms of computational cost
Research from the Allen Institute for AI estimates that generating responses to “thank you” messages alone could consume enough electricity to power thousands of homes annually as AI usage grows.
When you consider the environmental impact of data centers, every extraneous word comes with a carbon footprint. Is saying “thanks” to an AI worth the environmental cost?
Sam Altman’s Stance: Efficiency vs. Human Values
OpenAI CEO Sam Altman has weighed in on this debate with a characteristically nuanced perspective. During a 2023 interview, he noted: “The most efficient prompting patterns don’t include pleasantries, but I still find myself saying please and thank you to ChatGPT.”
Altman suggests a middle path where:
In professional or technical contexts, efficiency can take precedence
In personal use, human values might reasonably influence how we communicate
The ultimate goal should be creating AI that respects human values without requiring constant verbal reinforcement
He’s also remarked that OpenAI’s models don’t actually require politeness to perform well, despite many users believing they do. The politeness, then, is entirely for our benefit.
Finding your personal balance
Perhaps this isn’t a question with a universal answer. Your approach might depend on your purpose:
If you’re a professional prompt engineer working to maximize efficiency or minimize costs, streamlined communication makes sense. If you’re teaching children how to interact with technology, modeling courtesy could be invaluable.
The beauty of this emerging relationship with AI is that we get to decide collectively what norms feel right. Whether you’re Team Please-and-Thank-You or Team Maximum-Efficiency, your choice reflects your values about how technology should fit into human society.
What’s your take? Do you thank your AI assistant, or do you keep it strictly business? Either way, your choice is helping shape our digital future.
